Silence ....Paused

Death –unwanted destiny and unknown dismissal from the world ,different but mysterious topic to discuss and disclose .As all emotions and turning points of human being has  loud noise ,death in its peak of the journey has its own silence paused with all memories and that silence is helplessness  of human mind  of leaving sand to flow down from tight grip.

A day in house …I was having tea and relaxing…  I noticed heavy feet and welled eyes of my friend manu who walked in. before I could ask her anything she scattered on chair with her tears, after a minute of  struggle with her emotions she said her friend anupama  met with an accident in a lab where she was working and has been hospitalized from more than a week  and she is in her death bed …today from anupama’s home she received call and she is not able to accept that her friend is dieing and she could not do anything ….sand is moving out of her grip…

After 1 hour she received phone call from anupama’s house that she passed away and tomorrow they are doing their last duty towards her according to their customs. As I expected manu  broke down with great disappointment of losing her classmate .It was a difficult condition for me to watch her with such agony and allowing her to weep out instead  of consoling her.

 

The saddest thing I felt  manu was repenting  that never ever she can see and talk to her friend and  anupama wanted to meet manu a month  back as manu was unaware of her short period just said that she was busy to  give time for her friend…..and today manu wanted to share her time and anupama had very little balance to wait and talk…. 

 How many of us really have reason to say ‘No’ to meet a friend or we just tangle ourselves so that we are unreachable to the relation that we built unknowingly when we were sitting next to each other in a classroom. We do wait for reasons ..some marriage….some occasion to meet our daily friend of olden days…..rather I call it as golden days.…a friend that we meet first time when we entered first day in to our collage ..a friend helped us in preparing our drafts. a friend helped in saying sorry to our silly mistake…a friend who forgive us and smiled on our stupidity…..a friend who was with us when we were searching for job….and today we don’t have time to meet her/him…as we are busy with work…

In evening I could see an assembly of  anupama’s  friend on terrace. none of them were crying …all of them were talking about dead friend Anu…as they used call her. I can feel Anu around them..thier 3 years memories that they shared in college,library, a bunch of memories they shared with Anu in exam hall…their discussion on topics …her arguments towards topics….all  emotions of anupama were alive  around them…Anupama was alive with them ….I can feel a silence in their talk….a kind of paused silence that a falling leaf  leave on the ground ,a silence that horizon feels after a sunset ,a silence that eyes can feel without sleep… silence moulding into shape as talk went on about her in her absence . their silence was paying their homage to anupama.

FRIENDS….the dimensions and angle of a life is untamed without a friend. Being alone without a friend ….to fight and…to share emotions in life is biggest punishment one can have. To reveal  best of real world all of us need a friend …our friend contributes to the growth and also in grooming of our personality ..and what a friend need is our time in turn and…we deny it by giving reasons of our responsibilities. The noise of  laughter can break the deepest silence  of disappointed  mind ….and when corners of unseen mind lose in front of failures little lamp of smile of hope from a friend add up the confidence…to become a friend like that is a asset to one and to have fiend like that in one’s life is greatest asset that one can treasure. 

Let us find time to say hi and ask our friend how is she/he doing in life…?  Takes little time 10 mins on phone…on social network ….walkable distance near house ….half a day to spend  …..we need our friend as they need us to make today’s moment as tommarow’s memory to cherish …and to break silence that we all had in our noisy corners…before silence get paused in talk and before we say busy for a friend .  

Infection and disease

Naxal  affected areas of India.. Chattisgadh, Orissa,Andra Pradesh,West Bengal,Bihar…now a days in television and news paper displaying “Naxal affected areas” as new synonym for these states especially states with hill lock and thick forest regions. Inefficiency of administration, poor literacy and corruption, poverty, hierarchies of society resulted in Naxalism and pro naxal  ideas turned healthy hills into infected states. Negligence of leaders, ignorance of people for decades along with geographical conditions of states incubated the infection and failures of administration and lack of sincere effects of our leaders boosted the growth of Monster..infront of which our MPs are finding instant solutions.

Sitting in city like Bengaluru ,I can only imagine circumstances which have made people of affected states to lose faith and hopes in democracy and took  path of starting parallel government to justify their theories to establish social environment of their dream. Only when massacre of Danthewada killed unprepared policeman and blowup railway tankers carrying fuel in Bihar I started looking into the reason for this infection .

My thoughts started wandering around why they are making destruction to appear in news like this? if they are really willing to change the life of downtrodden  people around them why they don’t uplift the needy people and show their patriotism? Why they are interested in showing their power with destruction but not with the construction? can construction ,development occur with collapsing the faith of people?

We have examples around us ,these kind of fights never fetch anything to anyone in any part of the world. LTTE ..a private army in Srilanka fought for their rights. They had well flourished financial flow to support them, separate navy was example for it. My mind started relating circumstances  and results of LTTE with naxalism. Decades of fight fetched nothing but failure of their fight and leaving lakh as refugees and thousands death without any positive result. I believe instead of making their war as a mass suicidal attempt proper canalization of their energy and courage could have fetched some success. Building army and training soldiers to kill and attack they could have utilized it in building leaders among them. 

Now my land facing sort of similar problem… same question raising again….do such kind of fights fetch any fruit to any one..? violence never answered any questions, Our Freedom struggle is itself an example for it .Great son of Indian Soil how loved his mother land than anything in this world Bhagat Sigh who believed in revolutionary  ideas  to bring freedom but during his last days in prison he adopted nonviolence. His request of treating prisoners in a respectable manner with in prison was approved only by his Ahimsa, Upawasa sathyagraha for 63 days. Voice for equality and demand of prosperous life can be heard when voice is clear and in audible rage .Killing soldiers and showing their techniques on railways racks to kill people never make them acceptable as worriers of welfare. Blood and bomb blast are hiding actual purpose of fight, their demands are become inaudible with these violence .

As a proverb says ”To succeed change your direction ..not the boat”…for that matter naxals have take separate boats to sail on the ocean where majority of  people are prosperous under Indian  democracy.Naxals need different directions rather than changing new boat. They are fighting for their communities with their own people. Fighting with different theory which is irrational in democratic country .Naxal movements in hills and woods have shadow under their lamps too. The upcoming generation in hills is getting directly affected by this contagious infection and mind set is not allowing them to accept the treatment and disease not allowing democratic rules to reach out for needy hands. 

Instead of utilizing all the energy, knowledge in blowing up fuel tank, derailing the railway track, killing innocent citizens in accidents, defending their theories by killing CRPF Jawans,the same courage ,potential and knowledge can be used utilized in building a powerful leaders among them. When politicians are utilize human resource and situation to cook their soups , I strongly believe that  potential power of Naxals and their groups can definitely get true support and platform to reach their goal and in that effort true patriotic leaders of country give their hands to pull the chariot towards success.

I seriously wonder if naxals can get finance and support for deletory acts  ..why can’t  they get true support from people around them for Nobel reasons?.If their fight is for their community then defiantly people need a leader to rise voice on behalf of them .Naxal leaders should think in line of standing as leaders for people rather than gunning down soldiers to prove their calibers. Voice of People with Efficient leaders will reach the administrative walls and world too.

Let them lamp the light of welfare in huts as leaders and built a healthy environment for upcoming youth .Sincere efforts of  leaders and democratic government  will help in treating disease and directions towards growth will eradicate infections in any form. Altogether Naxals view need to change their directions …definitely not in separate boat…

Her first day



Eyes were flooded with tear ..voice was breaking ....remembering home and comfort in it ..and trace anger towards parents ..about their separation ….her emotions on her first day as she was entering an unknown world where she need to obey existing disciplines and her personal identity takes time in new world with new relations around her …..as every thing is brand new for her …her first day anxiety was remarkable…


Waking up early at 7.30 which is quite irritating for 3 years old kid, as she enjoys the warmth of bed and woolen wrap on cloudy morning of June.
It was amazing to look at her half opened mouth and her sound sleep …but fear of getting late was warning me . To be frank I hate waking up sleeping beauties and when it comes to baby it is even more difficult .Speculating with curiosity She opened her eyes with thought why I am waking her up so early and on realizing about scholl ….Thungabhadra –Kaveri stated rushing..

“”huu…nannu school ge hogalla..maneelleei irtheeni .huuuu.”...

With combination of physical or mental energy I took her to bath and dressed her up in uniform which is quite long for her. She was quite on the way, as she approached her classroom and looking at two kids crying for their parents, my daughter’s bravery went off and and she joined other two with amplified noice. Holding my dress insisting me to stay back in class.

I can hear her raging voice from the class …and it vanished with the distance. As time is great a teacher ,she learned the rules and she now identifies her self with new classroom, her friends and school as her new exploration and her window to the real world ….now she goes jumping to the school as she loves it .

  

I sense the same emotion rush and trauma in a newly married Bride….while separating from her parents and moving towards her another identity. Both situations may share the same emphasis but they have their own significance in everyone’s experience.

Bride …the name symbolizes a new synonym for a girl with different shades of a new connectivity in her life. She portrays parent’s daughter and same time exposed to formulas required to build up a healthy family. For both the families marriage is celebration and rejoicing the new association as groom side members are happy to receive and bride side parents are happy that they have found suitable partner for her.

Soon after marriage girl in bridal wear feels the transition of her role. Tears in her eyes signify leaving her identity and missing comfort zone around her . Heavy heart prefers to keep silent through journey till she reaches new home. Argument of her thoughts and acceptance of unavoidable changes in her life takes months to settle down.

Introduction of new rules and her role in new home adds up her agony, as time is great healer …down the line she will be an adorable member of family. With passing days she learns her responsibility towards her recognition. Maturity comes through accountability to her mistakes and learning process as a good student mold a good teacher in her. Proficient connectivity with her parents home boost her personality and in span of years crying bride will modify as mature lady to welcome near and dear of family to her home .

Narration of mental state, going to handle a set of responsibility with combination of anxiety and grief. .Deserted feeling in her mind accumulates strength as she know parent support is not available in handling her duties .All together I see it as training session of civilized society to their off springs, learning in school to become capable citizen and independent in life .In case of bride it is training session for her to build a respectable family so that down the line she will become teacher for her descendant. 

Accepting fresh air results in expansion of a flower’s aroma . Always gaining part has sharing part in it in every aspect of life .New student of an institute and new member of a family both share their identity and same time the recipient school and home also gains new definition with them.

(My sincere gratitude towards owner of these cartoons and picture.....Thank you )

Three....3!!!

Cinema most effective and prominent media which communicates message in rapid speed and it has efficiency of reaching senses of all ages in all states and countries. This power packed media can stimulate reactions in span of hours and same time can make people realize their boundaries as well. The film makers of this era may not know their responsibility on their shoulders as most of them work on instruction and limitation of their producers, as their main point is to multiply their bank balances….but few directors really know how to blend the entertainment and as well message that convey and trigger thoughts of Sri samanya. I have penned down admiration towards the three films that I enjoyed watching and all credit goes to directors for their healthy entertainment and pleasant presentation.

3 idiots..ideas of Chetan bhagat were portrayed by characters in the film and the work of  Rajkumar Hirani as director and editor enhanced the focus of the story. The race to for which we were prepared from nursery to university to become first to fetch a good job so that we make our living better. The message of the story is not denying the need of education but requirement to identify the gravity of teacher in building student’s interest in subject.




“Between two mats he sits” the simple way to remember spelling of MATHEMATICS this is how my primary school teacher thought me to fix its spelling in my mind. but same teacher thought me to recall formulas and then to substitute numbers instead of alphabets …and it is called algebra. Saturdays first class was always geometry class where teacher used to teach me how to draw a parallelogram using scale and how to draw circle using compass rather teaching in a interesting way so that I can enjoy while learning it.

 Still today MATHEMATICS is like Mammoth of subjects for me…and every year in this subject majority of the students fails in 10th and become repeaters.The beautiful point of five points some one or the 3 Idiots is the fresh look of director or author towards education system. I feel it is because of the teacher skills were not renewed and upgraded by years but new students of every year enters the class with new imagination and new exposure.

I feel Instead of just teaching students to draw a perfect rhomboid or circle, our teachers need to implement new tactics to gain students attention into the subject. New implementation in learning mathematics or any other subject  will definitely mold new ideas in kids and knowing its application in life will make it more gentle subject to understand.

As a parent I liked Paa from director R.Balkrishnan..a directors film as he steals the stage with touch of emotions ,with the sensitive issue of single parenting and the innocence of 11 year old boy who can understand the stages of life …and best part is the 67 year old brain and body makes you to feel the 11 year old boy’s mentality. Paa stands different from other films of Bombay with its gentle narration.

As we grow up, we always try to find out our parents in us. I guess all of us would have tried to imitate our paa or maa , for our reality they are our ideal person on planet. The constant effort of every living creature to find identity from his/her parents is a natural behavior, and is portrayed in very humors but yet very sensitive way in Auro’s role. Scenes like Sitting next to his father Auro points out minus and plus of his nature and common things between them in a plane and his friend portrays his father nature by scolding his father.


Kids have inborn skills and techniques to teach us. The known degree of parental hood that we gain from our kids, comes with constant effort of our growth along with them .Auro portrays that tutor in the film and director wins the stage with him.

J.Cameron who focused his thoughts towards mother earth by Avatar .World is amazed to see the zeal, imagination, and dedication of human mind to create such a craft to portray cruel reality. As film was running in 3 angles around me and my mind recalling a single line “Mother earth can fulfill your requirement but not the greed”. Navi’s life display fine Harmony with nature and shows their gratitude towards their Pandora by guarding it from alliance.






We the humans doing all possible things to locate the balance with instability from Ground water to Ozone…from Flora to Fauna. The caution what I felt is our planet is mother to all other living creature in her lap...we humans are not only one for her. She loves grass to giraffe, lamb to lion. We have to confine our dictation over her boundaries…before she gives a chance for us to rectify. Irony of film is that we need Graphic illustration to think and understand the condition but cannot grasp the real destruction of our intelligence.

Escapism

Our Plan of escaping from Karmabhumi at the last week of 2009 descend upon charmudi ghat..a small junction “Kottigehara” located 15 km from Mudigere in Chikkamagaluru (district) where coffee was first cultivated in India .we two sisters and our life companions along with one half seat(my daughter) along with 5th head (my brother)who joined hands us in tiptur and journey began towards western ghats.

Through Tiptur-Hassan road, the jolly and jolt ride took 51/2 hours in Daewoo martiz… I wish that car manufacturer would have fixed one tolerant meter in the car so that we can read its temper and in driving seat was Prem (my brother in law) driving carefully to keep its temper cool, Saying sorry for each jerk… but from Hassan ride was very smooth. As we entered Malenadu the roads had coffee plantation on both side…with houses very far from one another… The cool breeze was making our noon journey very pleasant. We reached Mudigere small town where our Kannada novelist Poornachandra Tejaswi spent his last days We halted in Kottigehara, Malaya marutha  forest gueat house as we planned earlier.

Malayamarutha Guest house

                                                                       

                        

Guest house from the starting point of charmudi ghat section 

As we reached IB, Shobha(my sister), Sharadhi(my daughter) and myself settled down to enjoy the glory of nature. Very first scene which struck my eyes were the peaks and cliffs in procession looking at “Simplicity” of humans from ages… discussing some thing in unknown language … which was beyond my gauge. The SUN tired of routine started resting behind them… less than five minutes he rushed out with golden glow making the canopy turn golden green…

As we enjoy golden eve ragu (my brother) and satish(my better half) were busy in organizing the dinner, as it will be pitch dark after sunset and the IB was no supported with voltage.

 

  

Staying with out electricity and enjoying nature in its own color is really a distinct experience for me. The Green valley turned saffron due to the sun and then to silver under moon. Adding to this experience, we saw a small stream of water from forest gets merged with the river down the hill, it was beautiful and “Julllu Julllu” was audible from rooms also…The natural “Laalli”.

Julu Julu ....stream

 

Next morning we visited one interesting place.. a village “Javali”. It was an unplanned place in our itinerary .Morning we started towards Kelaguru to have glimpse of rich tea estate as my photographic husband planned to enrich his collection. On the way we saw a board which read “1 km down visit hemavathi birthplace..Javali”… since Hemavathi river fed Tiptur, to explore it, we drove inside. Their was a Ganapathi temple with 2 ponds next to it. One was smaller than the other. There was a small rock with water dripping over it which was birth place of river Hemavathi. The priest enriched our knowledge about origin of temple by Javali maharshi.

 

 

Ganapathi temple Javali 

He told us that the water dripping over the rock flows into a small pond next to it. 

     

Birth place of river Hemavathi

The water level in pond neither depletes nor rises and remains constant in drought as well during heavy rain, This pond is said to be very auspicious. He also explained the science behind it. Flow from small pond was internally connected to the larger one and in turn is connected to lake down the village …so the basic flow of water for those 3 water bodies was the water dripping from the rock. Because of this reason the water levels of all these ponds remain same round the year. Here we witnessed a natural water table balance

Large pond next to temple

He also gave some trivia of the place…the temple was picturised in some scenes of the kannada movie “Shh”. One fantastic thing about this priest was the way he declared about his happiness. Swinging his body with help of his arms around a poll he said “I got my peace of mind after coming here..and I AM VERY HAPPY here..”. I think he is the first person whom I met so far who can say that I AM HAPPY with out any doubt.

 

Happy priest with Ganapathi

  

 

Kelaguru tea and coffee processing unit

Kelaguru…small place with lush green tea estates and coffee plantations. Sprinklers in the tea estates were adding beauty to it. Kelaguru had its own coffee and tea processing unit also.. actually I tried walking into the tea plantation but it was bit difficult for my untrained legs to walk up.

 

Green and Beauty 

 

Glazing through the beautiful scenery a thought came into my mind that ‘haah! A decent place to spend my retired life’. On the way back to Mudigere my mind was figuring out the definition for “I AM HAPPY”, but paused my thoughts looking at the art of pouring Neeru dose in a canteen. After having Neeru dose, Our half exhausted wheels turned towards Bengaluru and we started planning for another escapism as we got struck at first traffic signal…and escapism ends with reality.

Cool place to enjoy retired life!!!